One of the things I am most curious about when someone steps into my office is, “Why now?”. In most cases, someone has been living with a problem of some sort, for quite some time. So, “Why now, why not a week, a month, or a year ago?” People often have a fairly good answer for the question, “Why do you want therapy?”. “I feel depressed, anxious…”, “I have trouble in my relationship…”, “I hate my job…”, “I can’t sleep at night…”, etc.
However, the answer to the former question, “Why now?” is usually less clear. After some deliberation, the response that usually follows is something like, “ I don’t know exactly, I just have this sense, this gut feeling that I need help. I know things are not right, I want to be happier, more fulfilled in my life, but I don’t think I can do it by myself anymore. I am not sure exactly what kind of help I need, but I want to grow and feel better.”
I believe that there is a healing part in every person. This is the part of you that knows you need something more in your life. Sometimes it can break through, into your consciousness, and deliver this message. My experience as a therapist has taught me to have a profound respect for this inner voice. I have seen that this part really does know what you need to heal. People heal most profoundly when that healing emanates from inside them. As a therapist, it is my role to help you uncover that part, and help you learn how to use it to navigate through your own path of healing.
Of course, the process of uncovering this healing intelligence is unique to each individual. There is no “technique” or “school of therapy” that will work for everyone. Human beings, for better or worse, are simply too complex for that to be the case. Each person needs a therapy that takes into account both his/her unique past and present life circumstances.
This means that for one person I may do a lot of work with meditation, dreams, and visual imagery. For another, we will explore cognitive schemas and try to understand new ways of thinking about self and other. Or perhaps, we will need to focus on the subtle internal changes in your body and help you understand the instrument of your emotions to assist in decreasing feelings of anxiety or depression. For some, we will be very goal directed, while others may need to learn to be more flexible in their life.
Some individuals will need to concentrate more on their past, others on their present, and still others on their future. People are constantly in flux in their life and therapy must adapt to those changes between sessions or even within a single session. Finally, therapy must always be fit to the person, not the person to the therapy.
I believe that when you make contact with your internal healing intelligence, you will come to trust yourself in a profound way that will help you find balance in life, long after your initial problems have been resolved.
If you have any specific questions that have not been answered, please feel free to email me at and I will try to answer them.
